Have you ever been in love but angry? In love with the person you always dreamed about being in love with but angry because you waited too late to try. In love with the person you had a crush on for 13 years but angry because you feel as if you got the short end of the stick. In love but angry. Angry because the timing is currently off but still in love because you still believe. Angry because you want to move on but in love because you can’t. In love but angry…
An interesting topic, narcissism, was brought to my attention some time ago. I was taken by surprise when my partner stated that I have not done anything to make her feel like she should appreciate me. This along with another semi-conscious statement along the lines of how I should be appreciative of the fact that she gives me her time and attention are what prompted me to want to know why….
I recently came to realize that a child learns how to trust others through their parents. If one of the parents, especially biological, sexually abuses the child and the other parent neglects the child then this teaches the child to look at adults or loved ones as untrustworthy. This sets the stage for narcissistic behaviors to manifest. If the child does not have other adults to come in and show genuine compassionate love on a consistent basis then this further creates narcissistic behavior in the child. In my vague research (through Google of course) on the topic I have concluded that if the child grows up with a single-parent who has a narcissistic personality then she will in turn live life in the same mannerism. So you have a sexually abused neglected child being raised by a narcissistic single-mother, of who I believe her narcissism derived from unaddressed PTSD symptoms triggered by the sudden loss of her husband. The child now becomes an adult and of course is likely to exhibit narcissistic behaviors. Envision the adult experiencing or witnessing hands on the death of the single-mother due to Alzheimer disease. This type of traumatic event can cause the onset of more pronounced narcissistic behaviors. The question is at this point what does a partner of a person like the one I described do at this point?
The question is can have two answers. Giving the fact that the partner who is questioning the situation is aware of how she has fell subject to malevolent behavior by her partner, she must now choose how to address the revelation. One choice is to continue on with the relationship as more of a friend or companion during the times in most need. The other choice is to abandon the relationship entirely and move forward. My thought process is once you know better you will do better. Once you have a good idea of what your partner may be experiencing and why she reacts to life in a certain mannerism, it makes things between you easier to process regardless of the final decision.
I have included two of my chosen websites that I find myself returning to for information about narcissism. I hope my experience will help others understand their experience as well.