A weakness of a narcissist is their extreme hatred of being embarrassed. There is nothing worse for them than having someone point out even the slightest fault. Ironically, they have no problem openly doing this to others. This method of casting shame allows them to feel superior while minimizing any impact the other person might have. It also serves as a way of discounting any future comments the other person use to embarrass the narcissist. Basically, they are beating the other person to the first punch. In order to avoid a first punch, a person needs to understand what it looks like. Here are eleven ways a narcissist uses shame to control others. Historical Revisionism. A narcissist will retell another person’s story adding their own flare of additional shame. This can be done in front of others or privately. It usually happens after the other person has achieved some level of accomplishment. The narcissist will state that they are only trying to the keep the other person humble
Divorcing a narcissist doesn’t solve everything. While the day-to-day distance can elevate the stress, anxiety, depression, and frustration of living with a narcissist, it doesn’t stop them from being narcissistic. The next party on the victimization…
Admittance and acceptance helps one to walk in their truth.
Be honest with yourself about who you truly are. If you are faking hate then admit that you truly deep down love. This will diminish a fear based type of thinking.
If you’re faking love then admit that you truly do have hate. And accept it so you can make the next move or come to a conclusion about the situation. That’s how you walk in truth and be honest with yourself.
“Step Away from the Mean Girls…
…and say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks.
Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others.
This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world.”
― Oprah Winfrey
A window pane has a comparison to the pain one must pass through for rebirth into a renewed life. The window pane is clear, one can see through to the other side but the barrier or the pane of glass is a facade. I believe the pain from past hurts that one holds on to creates an illusion of security. There is complacency in pain because one begins to think that it is easier to remain punished from the past. If we think of the window pane as the past and what is seen on the other side of the pane are our desires, I think the passing through would not last long. Pass through the pain, it will not last long. The suffering or worse pain is staying in the contemplation stage without ever moving through the pain.
I believe one must cut through the glass or break it to be reborn into a new way of living. The ironic part is how thin the window pane is this in comparison to the reality of how thin pain is from past hurts.
One can see through the glass their hearts desire but one does not want to endure the small amount of pain to get there. Pain does not last always. In pain you find relief. Passing through the pain brings forth a much greater gain, peace.