Eating Consciously

 

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In my experience, my choice to eat consciously makes others feel inadequate. I am judged on all sides on this topic mainly because I don’t fit the society norm or scope of someone mindfully eating. I am a full-figured ethnic female who enjoys eating as healthy as possible. Where one female’s best past time or favorite thing to do may be clothes/shoe shopping mine is food shopping. I can spend hours in a grocery store. I enjoy my Sunday brunches at Eco-minded grocery stores such as Whole Foods and Earth Fare. I love the way wholesome organic food tastes as well as how it makes my body feel.

I have been labeled by others in my culture as being bourgeois (the urban spelling/saying is ‘bougie’) because I eat consciously. I have come to realize that this is my cultures way of dealing with fear of change and lack of self-love. If  choosing a conscious eating lifestyle is considered as one thinking of themselves as a higher class citizen, then what is considered to be the opposite?

I was told that I am being “bougie” because of my current eating lifestyle. The person’s conclusion about me happened after they discovered that I don’t have a microwave in my home. I have concluded that if having the mindset that one’s body is one’s own temple is considered as being ‘bougie’ then ‘bougie’ I shall be.

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A Different Perspective

An interesting topic, narcissism,  was brought to my attention some time ago. I was taken by surprise when my partner stated that I have not done anything to make her feel like she should appreciate me. This along with another semi-conscious statement along the lines of how I should be appreciative of the fact that she gives me her time and attention are what prompted me to want to know why….

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I recently came to realize that a child learns how to trust others through their parents. If one of the parents, especially biological, sexually abuses the child and the other parent neglects the child then this teaches the child to look at adults or loved ones as untrustworthy. This sets the stage for narcissistic behaviors to manifest. If the child does not have other adults to come in and show genuine compassionate love on a consistent basis then this further creates narcissistic behavior in the child. In my vague research (through Google of course) on the topic I have concluded that if the child grows up with a single-parent who has a narcissistic personality then she will in turn live life in the same mannerism. So you have a sexually abused neglected child being raised by a narcissistic single-mother, of who I believe her narcissism derived from unaddressed PTSD symptoms triggered by the sudden loss of her husband. The child now becomes an adult and of course is likely to exhibit narcissistic behaviors. Envision the adult experiencing or witnessing hands on the death of the single-mother due to Alzheimer disease. This type of traumatic event can cause the onset of more pronounced narcissistic behaviors. The question is at this point what does a partner of a person like the one I described do at this point?

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The question is can have two answers. Giving the fact that the partner who is questioning the situation is aware of how she has fell subject to malevolent behavior by her partner, she must now choose how to address the revelation. One choice is to continue on with the relationship as more of a friend or companion during the times in most need. The other choice is to abandon the relationship entirely and move forward. My thought process is once you know better you will do better.  Once you have a good idea of what your partner may be experiencing and why she reacts to life in a certain mannerism, it makes things between you easier to process regardless of the final decision.

I have included two of my chosen websites that I find myself returning to for information about narcissism. I hope my experience will help others understand their experience as well.

https://jl10ll.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/the-clingy-craving-callous-co-dependent-the-better-half-of-the-narcissist/

http://www.9types.com/movieboard/messages/13677.html

 

Perfect

Men want the illusion of a perfect woman whereas women know this is not entirely possible. However women will create the illusion for the man’s approval of which ultimately leads to the demise of the female’s confidence.

Perfect is you. You are perfect as you are. We are all designed to be as we are for a purpose. My issue with this omnipotent fact is why continue to subject yourself to the chaos of the illusion. It is said no one is perfect but I ask who are we to define perfect? There is no cookie cutter for perfection. We are all perfect in our own individual way.