Emotional Control

The Secret To Emotional Control Most People Don’t Know


Putting a number to my current stress level

I was recently asked to partake in a self-care inventory pertaining to my stress level. The inventory template was designed and developed in 1967 by two psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rache. The study was done to know if stress is a contributor to physical illness.

My immediate thoughts after completing the inventory was quite shocking given the fact that I had just returned from vacation. However, it was truly enlightening to see how stress can potentially be measured percentage wise within the next few years of one’s life. I scored in the high 200’s of which indicates a 50% chance of my having a stress-induced health problem. The ironic part to all of this, I had a sense that I was becoming highly stressed and needed to make some life altering changes soon. This test just confirms my suspicions.

I thought I would give those who may interested a chance to know their possible stress-induced health issue within the next few years. The following are links to taking the inventory and to learning more about the development of the inventory: The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory and The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale: Understanding the Impact of Long-term Stress.

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Hurt people hurt people

Those who choose to wallow in emotional pain from past experiences…

There is a time in ones life when one must choose to wallow in pain & misery or move forward & work through it. Those who choose to live in emotional pain from past experiences are stagnate in life. The wheels are spinning but they’re going nowhere. Hurt people do not want to hurt alone. They will hurt others just to see or feel pain in them too. Hurt people never want to be alone not even their pain.

Those of us who are capable of or not afraid of loving individuals as they are, have a duty to love hurt people the most. Sometimes the expression of love needs to be at a distance or through a conduit such as another person or show love to them every chance possible.

A mean acting individual is, in most cases, crying out for help and love. Find a way to express love and show gratitude in any small accomplishments.

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging and the Vulnerable Narcissist

In my effort to understand why I keep attracting the same types of people  in an intimate and sometimes not entirely intimate relationship, I began my study on Personality Disorders. Although I received my first Enneagram book about five years ago, I have always had a curiosity for knowing more about personalities. I ran across the following article the other day and thought I would share. I found it somewhat creepy that it came across my desk, so to speak, because I am currently in a situation with someone I diagnosed as having Vulnerable Narcissism.


The following paragraphs are just a slight overview of personalities that are known to be attracted to one another.

  • The Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging ,INFJ, personality type is very rare. It makes up less than one percent of the population, but nonetheless we leave our mark on the world. INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.
  • Vulnerable Narcissism, entails people who are self-centered, but defensive and resentful of others. VN’s feel helpless, anxious, and victimized when people don’t treat them like royalty. They’re very concerned with fears of rejection and abandonment.



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